Motherhood is hard, really hard. You know what makes it even harder? Mom shaming, and right now I’m talking about political mom shaming. Political mom shaming is degrading another mother for her political choices because they differ from the choices the shamer would make. It’s favorite spot? Social media. It makes you miss the days when a bully would have to say it to your face. But I digress.

In a recent and popular post by one of the largest and most influential mom blogs, Scary Mommy, a mother wrote a personal essay giving tips on how to cope if a family member is voting for “toxic” Trump. The post went on to describe the “heartbreak” when you find out someone you thought was kind turns out to be something different, essentially concluding that only someone who votes alongside the preferred particular party line, cares about people and our country. 

It’s not just that article, it’s all over social media. It is harsh. To anyone voting for Trump or simply uncertain, one thing has been made very clear, If you don’t agree, you are wrong and demonized. It could be wishful thinking, but we are better than this. 

Here are 5 reasons we should come back together and stop the the political mom shaming: 

Embracing Differences

We can’t expect our kids to play nice if we can’t. Rather than learning to “cope,” we should embrace others with different opinions. The problem with surrounding yourself with people that are exactly like you, is that you will become stagnant. We need criticism to grow. Of course it’s important to surround yourself with people who support you, but it’s equally important to keep those who challenge you.

There Is Not A Morally Right Choice

We can all have the same information and still make different choices. That doesn’t mean that every person voting for Trump lacks values, empathy, and kindness. There is not a singular vote that stands for righteousness. If you believe so wholeheartedly that you are morally-right, it shouldn’t be too difficult to listen to how others feel to learn about their perspective. You don’t have to agree with their ideas, but you should, if you want to maintain the relationship, and maintain your high ground, learn how they arrived at their opinion. 

Attack Ideas Not The Person 

“I attack ideas. I don’t attack people. And some very good people have some very bad ideas. And if you can’t separate the two, you gotta get another day job.”

Antonin Scalia

Life would be pretty boring if we all had the same ideas. And we need those differing opinions, particularly in a democracy. To get through life, whether it’s motherhood, your job, and relationships with others, you need to be comfortable when people do not have the same ideas as you, and how you handle that conflict, is important. Cutting them out of your life, demonizing, or even unfriending that person on social media, perhaps shows that you are more uncomfortable with your own stance than you realize. 

Recognize Shared Values 

Rarely, if ever, is there a single candidate that encompasses all of our desired qualities in a leader. That’s why it is so important as mothers, and people, to remember that we are not as far apart as you think. As moms, we have so much in common. We all want the best for our children, the next generation. That means we all want the best for our country for that generation. So while we all may disagree on how we get there, it’s always important to come back to why we want what we want – or in this case – why we vote the way we vote. Different roads sometimes lead to the same castle. 

Politicians Love To Spill That Tea 

These politicians are spilling more tea in 90 minutes than a week at the beauty parlor. Let’s look at politicians realistically for what they are and what they represent. They know that people love hearing unfavorable information about political candidates. Indeed, hearing one thing bad about a candidate goes much further than a piece of good information. That’s why politicians spend so much on negative advertising, or in this case, losing all decorum in a presidential debate. They do this precisely because people love it. The politicians see us, the people, as the sheep. Don’t be the sheep. 

We as women and mothers do not have to fall for that.  We are not sheep. Rather than vote because of negative information you’ve learned, try this, choose the candidate that inspires trust and motivates you because of their good qualities. Respect that your sister is doing the same and stop the political mom shaming. 

Related: At the end of the day, nurture the ones that matter. See our post, Why I Don’t Have A Lot Of Friends. 

Sources: The Psychology of Voting