Motherhood is filled with moments that are so good they make your heart feel like it is exploding with happiness. But any mother knows that isn’t the whole story. Motherhood is also filled with bad days that are so cripplingly hard. The occasional bad day happened before kids of course, but when you have kids you try to hold it in, for the kids. But they happen anyway.
You know what these days look like. Nothing goes right and somehow the sleep deprivation feels exponentially intense. Normally you are the patient mom but today you have zero patience, every noise gets on your nerves, and yes you raised your voice, ordered pizza and turned on the television for dinner, you know that one thing you said you would never do. At the end of it you feel like giving up and crawling into the fetal position, overwhelmed in the chaos.
But the worst of it is, as mothers, we have these inevitable bad days (because parenting is hard), and in the wake of it – we make ourselves feel guilty about these bad days for even having them. Why do we do that?
All people, moms included, have these bad days. But despite it all – you keep going, because you are the mom. So momma, in case you ever doubted it, remember these things on the bad days:
YOU ARE ENOUGH
Your babies need you – not because you are perfect, but because you are you. They love you as you are because you are their mother. So the next time you feel guilty or full of doubts, remember you are enough. Your babies don’t care that you had a bad day or even several bad days. All your babies care about is you. Honor being enough on the bad days.
YOU ARE STRONG
You never know exactly how strong you really are until your strength is tested. Remember that on the hardest days. In the moments that feel the hardest and you are the most vulnerable but you keep going anyway, those are the moments that show your strength. Not on the seamless days where everything goes just right, but rather on the days that you feel like you might lose it but you don’t – those are the days that your strength shines through. So maybe not losing your sense of sanity might not feel like a huge victory, but it is. Honor your strength in the bad days.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
From the moment you became a mother, you began putting someone else first. Suddenly someone else’s happiness is far more important than your own. It’s automatic in every decision – You do what is best for your kids. But don’t forget that you are important too, remember to take care of yourself. Part of taking care of yourself is respecting your own feelings and limits. Honor taking care of yourself on the bad days.
TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY
Each moment makes us who we are but no single moment defines us.
A bad day doesn’t make you a bad mom. Don’t let one bad day overshadow all of the good days. Your children are forgiving as are their memories at an early age. So take each day as it comes and let it go at the end. Tomorrow is a new day. It’s a new day to start fresh, to leave the worries, and the stress of yesterday behind. So if you didn’t feel like you were at your best today, you have the chance tomorrow to be the mom you want to be. It’s just one bad day in a lifetime of your motherhood story. Rather than feeling guilty for having a bad day, be gentle on yourself – you are a great mom. Honor the new days following the bad days.
Motherhood is a story filled with chapters, good and bad, planned and spontaneous, momentous and monotonous. Each moment makes us who we are but no single moment defines us. So before you beat yourself up about having a bad day, remember the few bad moments don’t outweigh the good, but they are a necessary part of the journey. Honor your motherhood journey.
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